손님 문학실 입니다

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  叡璡 이 혜숙(작성일 : 2007/02/12, 조회 : 1615
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 시인이란 자격증

시인이란 자격증

叡璡 이 혜숙



몇 번 고비도 마시고
쓴맛도 느껴보고
어렵게 검증을 받았다.

시인이란 자격증을 따는데
돈 든다는 말에 씁쓸해 지는 건
없는 자의 자존심일까.

글을 쓰고 있을 때는
등록금도 대출이자도
걱정 없고 행복하다.

인터넷에 글을 올리며
댓글이 굴비 엮듯이 줄줄이

스타도 아닌데
팬이라며 메일도 오고
작가님에게 전화도 받고
시인님에게 격려의 메일도 받고

그래 그만 하면 된 거지
아무나 그런 칭찬 받는 건 아니다.

스스로 위안 삼으며
홀로 글쓰기를 고집했다.

그런데
홀로 글 쓰는 건 일기 일뿐
시는 아니란다.

자격증이 있어야
인정받는 거라고 하는데
주머니 속 들어다 보다
그만 주저앉고 만다.

내년에 그래 내년에 꼭
그러기를 몇 년.

나를 위한 투자도 할 수 없는
현실이 원망스럽다 못해
자신감을 잃고
문학과 이별을 고한다.

봄, 가을 올 때마다
열병을 앓는다.

문학이란 상사병에
몸살을 앓는다.

잊으려야 잊을 수 없는
지우려야 지울 수 없는 그리움.
계절이 바뀔 때면 심하게
앓아눕고 만다.

아줌마는 용감하다고
아줌마의 힘은 대단하다고
누가 그랬던가.

중년의 나이에
시인이란 자격증을 받고 보니
가슴 벅차다.

이제 생각하니 어느 시인님의 말씀대로
시인이란 자격증이
어쩌면 어깨에 내려앉는
무거운 짐인지 모른다.




임정수
어서오세요. 시인님! *^.^*
잘 지내시고 계시죠?

요즘은 구정 대목이라 무척 바쁘다 보니
자주 찾아뵙지도 못했습니다.

그래도 시인님께서
고운 글을 자주 올려주실 줄 알았었는데...
저처럼 바쁘시다 보면 그럴 수도 있겠지요.
ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ

이해를 할 수 있는 제가
이해 하도록 하겠습니다.ㅋㅋ

자주 오셔서 고운 글 많이 올려주세요.
대문에다 걸어두고서 감상할 수 있게요...*^.^*
2007-02-13


叡璡 이 혜숙
요양원에 계시는 어머니께서 명절이 다가오니 마음이 그런 가 봅니다.
며칠 전에 간병사의 말에 한 참을 우시면서 내가 왜 이렇게 사는지
왜 자식들 애를 먹이는지 모르겠다며 하염없이 우셨다는 말을 듣고
마음이 많이 아팠습니다.

늘 긍정적이고 명랑하신 분인데 어떤 일이 있어도 굳건하게
잘 견디신 분이데 아마도 병이 그렇게 우울하게 만드나 봅니다.
어제는 부침개를 잔뜩 구어서 병실에 잔치를 했습니다.

요즘 자주 병원에 가느라 자주 시인님의 홈을 들리지 못했습니다.
그리고 저보다 더 글 잘 쓰시는 작가님이 계시는데요.
이제 곧 명절이 다가옵니다.
명절 잘 지내시고 건강하십시오.
2007-02-13


임정수
명절이라고 해도
한가족이 다함께 마주앉아
즐겁게 오손도손 얘기를 하며
지낼 수 있는 것도 아니고...
어머님께서 마음이 착잡하셨던 모양입니다.

아들은 아들대로 마누라 눈치를 보느라
맘대로 모시지도 못하고
딸은 신랑의 눈치를 보느라
어머니께 한번 찾아가 뵈올 수 있는 것도
마냥 눈치를 봐야하니...
무언가 잘못되어도 크게 잘못 된 것이지만
현실이 그러하니 어쩌겠습니까.

저 역시 친,인척 간의 불화로
친할머니를 모시지도 못하는 걸요..

집안의 장남이며 장손이라는 이유 하나만으로
작은 아버지께서 계시는데도
아직 결혼도 못한 제가
홀어머니와 살아가는 걸 뻔히 보면서도
저보고 할머니를 모셔야 하고
산소의 벌초도 저보고 다하라고 그러더군요.

요즘 어느 골빈 여자가
시어머니에다 시할머니까지 모시고 살아가려고 하겠어요.

제가 여자래도 혼자서 살았으면 살았지
절대로 결혼을 안할 것입니다.

그래서 이날까지 요모양 요꼴로 혼자이지만요..
ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ

사회적 흐름이 그렇고 분위기가 그렇고
너도 나도 친부모조차도 모시질 않으려고 하니
앞으로 이나라가 어찌될런지 걱정입니다.

부침개를 잔뜩 구워서
병실에서 잔치를 하셨다니 정말 잘하신 일입니다.

조금이라도 여유가 될 땐
병 간호를 해주시는 간호사들을 보기에도 그렇고...
어머님을 위해서라도 정말 잘하셨다고 생각합니다.

저는 요즘 구정 대목을 보느라
무척 바쁘게 뛰어다니다 보니 몸살이 날 지경이랍니다.

조금만 더 시간적 여유가 있었으면
시인님께 엑기스라도 하나 달여서 보내어 드리려고 했었는데...
천상 구정을 지내고 나서 보내어 드리도록 해야겠습니다.

이번 달에는 주문량이 많이 밀려서
선물용으로 보내는 것만 우선적으로 발송을 하고
그냥 먹는 사람들은 구정을 지내고 나서
천천히 보내도록 양해를 구했답니다.

명절에 대한 들뜬 마음은
병실 안팎이 다를 게 없으니
피곤하시더라도 어머님께 자주 찾아가 뵙도록 하세요.

아무래도 밖에서 활동하는 사람들과는 달리
늘 병실에 계셔야 하는 분들은 많이 갑갑해 하실 것입니다.

시인님의 서재와 홈에도 들리도록 하겠습니다.
명절 잘보내시고요, 늘 건강하세요. *^.^*
2007-02-13


叡璡 이 혜숙
한번도 뵙지 못했지만 문학이란 곳에서 시인님을 알게 되고
어줍잖은 저의 글에 관심을 가져 주시고 너무나 송구하고 고맙습니다.

그런데 선물까지 받고 보니 더욱 미안스러워 집니다.
해서 저도 어머님도 모신다니 혈압계가 요긴하게 쓰일 것 같아서
내일 보내드리겠습니다.
바쁘시다니 당해입니다.
건강 해치지 않는 범위내에서 조심하시고
요즘 세태가 참 한심스럽지만 어쩝니까.
세상이 다 그런걸요.

내내 건강하시고 명절 잘 내십시오.
혈압계는 시인님의 고마운 마음에 보답이라고 생각 해 주십시오.
약은 정말 좋다며 고맙다고 대신 남편이 전해 달랍니다.
2007-02-14


임정수
구정이라 여기저기 신경을 쓸 곳이 많아서
꼭 보내야 할 몇군데를 우선적으로 정해서 보내다 보니
아무래도 미더운 시인님은 이해를 해주시리라 믿으며
구정을 쉬고나서 보내어 드려야 할 것 같습니다.

구정 선물용으로 주문이 들어오는 것은
우선적으로 가공하여 배송을 하고요,
그냥 드시는 분들은
구정을 쉬고나서 배송 하기로 양해를 구했는데도
이번 달에는 주문 / 배송 스케줄이 꽉 차버렸답니다.

좀 더 일찍 달여서 보내어 드렸어야 했는데...
자연산 장어가 좋은 게 잡히면
그때에 보내어 드리려고 생각하고 있었거든요.

아무리 구정이라고 해도
이렇게까지 주문량이 밀리게 될 줄은 꿈에도 몰랐습니다.

지난 번에도 보내어 주신 것을
저희 어머니께서 항상 고맙다고 하시며
잘쓰고 계시는데...
또 보내어 주시겠다니
무엇 하나 잘 해드린 것도 없는데
이렇게 받아도 될런지도 모르겠고요...
고맙고 황송해서 몸둘 바를 모르겠습니다.

사양하는 것도 주시는 분에 대한 예의가 아니니
마음의 선물이라 여기고 고맙게 받도록 하겠습니다.

늘 건강하시고 즐거운 명절 잘 보내세요.
감사합니다. *^.^*
2007-02-14


wq
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213  함께 하는 추억  [135]    늘푸른 2007/09/02 10399
212  사우나 실의 열기  [1635]    늘푸른 2007/07/03 4666
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209  숨어 있는 사랑  [2]    늘푸른 2007/05/21 1266
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